You can call me Dr. Mom...

This week my first born graduated from college and with that has come a reflection on his educational journey over the past 18.5 years and my experiences with him over the past 22 years. This amazing and complex young man has truly made me the mother and woman I am today. He “broke me in” as a mommy when I was just the same age as he is now. Anyone who knows him now would be astounded to learn that he hasn’t always been the quiet, thoughtful and patient young man that he is respected for today! I am very proud of him and not for the reasons that most people would ever think.

Yes, it is a great accomplishment to graduate from college with honors (we are waiting until final grades are posted to know if it is Cum Laude or Magna Cum Laude), without ever having to pay a penny to said university because everything was paid for through scholarships. What baffles me is that this was done by a student who decided in the third grade that, “I don’t need to do homework, there are other things that make better use of my time”. He learned very early on that he didn’t have to study to get good grades, he could cut corners and still retain the information and on most days throughout his education, he was bored to tears in his classes. Yet, he has gained great knowledge and established interesting insights and perspectives on the world and life during his education and life. He has a grounded approach and handling on everything, not letting emotions interfere with his decision-making or in steering him away from his values and morals.

When he graduated from high school, he was given the department medal for his achievement….in physical education! What confused us at the awards ceremony when this acknowledgment was announced, was that he wasn’t even registered in any P.E. classes his senior year. When we asked him if possibly there was a mistake and how could he win this medal without having a P.E. class on his schedule, he explained that it was because during his last year at his Catholic prep high school, he had participated in every P.E. class because he had finished his work in his Advanced Biology, AP Calculus and AP English as well as other classes and requested a pass to go to the gym classes. The next day, I called the head of the P.E. department and asked him how it was possible for my son to win the medal at the awards night, to which he explained that the teachers and he had agreed that my son had earned this through his attendance and participation even though he wasn’t on the rosters! I commend him for finding a way to participate in school and fight the boredom he experienced when sitting in class with nothing to do!

His problem solving skills and great ability in math was learned not from text books or teachers. He was a self-taught mathematician and reader, learning the basics of multiplication at age three and teaching himself to read at 18 months! Understandably, he was not easily detoured when I would disconnect the TV and cable when I would go to bed at night so as to prevent him from rising early and watching television, usually cooking shows, Japanese lessons or painting shows, when he was around four years old. He would just reconnect all of the cords, cables and watch TV at 5:00 am. Once, when he was also three, he fished lawn chairs out of the swimming pool when I was putting his baby sister down for a nap. You’d think I wasn’t a very diligent parent when hearing that story, but the actuality was that he got into the pool by moving a chair to the key rack in the kitchen to get the pool gate key, then taking a different chair to the back door to climb up and unlock the deadbolt and chain lock to get to the back yard. Once there, he moved his Lil Tikes car over to the pool gate, where he climbed on top of the car to then use the key to unlock and remove the lock to open the gate, so he could then climb down, enter the pool area to remove the two chairs when had blown into the pool after the wind storm. After removing the chairs, he put them back to the spots where they were normally placed and then did everything in reverse, putting everything back to the respectively designated places. All of this was done during the 20 minutes it took to nurse and put a baby down to nap! I am so thankful I didn’t come out to a different sight than my pre-schooler sitting where I left him watching the Land Before Time, and everyday since then, I have been thankful for his strategic and analytical skills, which have continued to amaze me and surprisingly keep him safe!

Every child and person is different, and what I have learned from my oldest child has made me a different person as well. I thought I was in for a long haul when he was born and refused to be put down because he demanded constant attention. What I now realize was that he was bored and wanted the interaction and stimulation. He has become a unique adult and is so comfortable and confident in his own uniqueness and doesn’t feel the pressure or need to impress others or pretend to be anybody he is not. Not many young men would have the confidence to be the high school mascot and be the only male cheerleader on the team. What I learned from my son through these experiences was that he refused to let other people define him or put in in a box or on the football field, just as he refused to be put in the bassinet as a baby! He has always know what it takes many a lifetime to learn – let your voice be heard to be who you are meant to be.

I got a degree in Media Arts in 1996 and finished another degree in December 2010 thanks to my son, I earned a doctorate in parenting after 22 years of study with him. Congratulations on your Bachelor of Science son, and thank you for my education, I couldn’t have done it without you.

The Party May Be Over, But Don't Turn Out The Lights

Last Sunday, sports legend Don Meredith passed away in the small town of Santa Fe, NM. After an accomplished career in the NFL, Meredith squired greater fame for his color commentary on Monday Night Football, ending the broadcast with lines from the classic Willie Nelson song, “The Party’s Over”, howling each week, “Turn out the lights, the party’s over”. The words rang loudly for the fans of the losing team each week, driving home the “L” in the stat books.
In the neighboring state of Arizona, there has been much attention this week, both locally and nationally, on the life of another great athlete, Tiffany Tate, and the battle to save her life. Tate has never played sports professionally, but has lived a life dedicated to being an athlete in spite of her daily struggle to breathe caused by Cystic Fibrosis. She grew up on the soccer field and on the basketball court, always giving her all to her team. Even now, unable to work in a traditional job because of her disease, she still gives her all to another team, coaching girls basketball at Seton Catholic Prep High School in Chandler. Instead of giving up, she is helping out as a volunteer of her time, talent and love. Why is she in the news?
After 27 years, and now at only 25 percent lung capacity, Tiffany faces the need for a lung transplant to go on living. That hope was quashed when she received a letter in July notifying her that she had been removed from the transplant list, due to the budget cutbacks and reduction in coverage through AHCCCS, her state provided health insurance, now excluding the transplant, estimated at $227,000. She has become the face and story representing 96 other Arizonans penalized with the same death sentence issued by the denial of coverage.
According to www.azsenatedemocrats.com , the first bill of 2011 will be to restore transplant coverage to AHCCCS, enabling the 97 Arizonans who are on the plan and currently need transplants to have it paid for by the public health plan our tax dollars were intended to provide. These people are fighting for their lives physically, emotionally and unfortunately financially.
During this time of cheer and good tidings, we should all be called to action to help these 97 individuals and their families have a return of hope. We can all do something to help, whether it is a donation to the fundraisers, sending a positive message to them or taking the time to phone the governors’ office to voice our views or reaching out to our representatives to enlist their support and vote to reinstate the coverage.
Whichever side of the aisle you support, this holiday season is a time when we can all come together to call our government to action. The 97 people, “Tate’s Team”, deserve a chance to walk down the aisle and live a full life, instead of being carried down the aisle before their time, because the democrats and republicans couldn’t work together as a team. It really is a time of year when we need to shed some light on the “parties” and make sure that Tate’s Team doesn’t lose this game!